


Reds and Blues

by tornfromroyalty



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Trans Male Character, character death comes later dont you worry, momo comes in later, poly relationships everywhere basically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornfromroyalty/pseuds/tornfromroyalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say when you look in their eyes the timers stop and you are perfectly matched forever.<br/>Well, what if they start back up?<br/>Rin Matsuoka has a bone to pick with anyone who says the timers are perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reds and Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Don't just give it a chance. Give it your all. And if that's all you got, get more.

Rin stared unblinkingly at the dark-haired boy, in shock that his timer stopped _now_ of all times.

Was it normal for a timer to stop between two boys?

“Oi, why are you staring at each other?” one of their classmates snapped, annoyed.

“Did yours… did it stop?” Rin asked quietly, looking down at the twelve blinking zeroes on his wrist, amazed at how mesmerizing it is, the red light suddenly stopping to become a solid zero.

The other boy nodded and gave a short sound of agreement. Rin could see the white zeroes on his wrist, and felt his tiny heart clench.

His mom had always told him it would be amazing when the timer stopped. His sister’s had stopped before his, some little girl named Chigusa in Gou’s class.

So it _had_ to be okay for two boys to share their timers, right?

But this guy, some skinny, beanpole guy with a sour look on his face half the time, how was _he_ supposed to be Rin’s soulmate?

“Boys, what is the problem, do I have to-” the teacher started, her face falling suddenly as she realized what they were staring at, “Matsuoka-san, Yamazaki-san, can this wait until after classes?”

Rin took a quick look at the teacher. She seemed to be used to this situation, as if students met their soulmates every other day in her class. But, seeing as it made sense for soulmates to meet as children, maybe she really _was_ that familiar with it.

Rin nodded, the other boy mirroring his action.

“Alright, then we have a class to resume,” the teacher said, smiling.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Oi, Matsuoka.”

Rin turned at the voice, not surprised to see the tall boy whose clock matched his walking up to catch him afterschool.

“It’s Rin,” he says shortly, “What do you want?”

“Duh, we’re soulmates.”

“And? What are we supposed to do about that,” Rin paused as he realized he didn’t even know the kid’s name.

“It’s Sousuke,” he said sharply, a knowing look in his eyes, “But we can’t just brush it off like it’s nothing.”

Rin bit his lip, wondering what they were _supposed_ to do. Soulmates were supposed to fall in love and get married and have kids. They were _definitely not_ going to do that.

“Wanna go to the swim club?”

“I don’t swim,” Sousuke deadpanned.

“You should try it then, stupid,” Rin hissed, a smile edging onto his lips.

Sousuke sighed, shrugging. “Fine.”

Rin’s smile grew, and he could feel the beginning of _something_ tie itself around the two of them.

“Well, c’mon then! I don’t wanna waste time!” Rin beamed, starting to run ahead.

“Hey, wait up!” Sousuke said, frowning slightly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin smiled at his friend, watching as he powered through the water like a natural.

It hadn’t been too difficult to get Sousuke on the swim team. With his natural talent, the coach had welcomed him easily. Sousuke had simply shrugged and agreed nonchalantly.

But Rin had noticed the slight sparkle that came to eyes when he was asked to join them, and it had to be one of the best things he had ever seen.

Normally bored blue eyes turned bright turquoise and his head perked up just slightly as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards in the most Sousuke-kind of smile.

Even though teaching Sousuke had been an absolute pain in the ass, with both of them getting frustrated easily, it was worth it.

All of the long evenings they spent, going back and forth in the pool, just trying to get his arms to be positioned the absolute correct way.

Every snide comment one would make, causing an argument that resolved as soon as one of them saw the deep hurt in the other’s eyes from having to handle so much tension.

Rin grinned wider than he had ever, clenching and unclenching his fists as Sousuke climbed out of the water, rolling his neck and walking over to him.

“That was a really good run, Sousuke,” Rin smiled.

Sousuke nodded, a grin bubbling at the surface.

“C’mon, you can admit you’ve gotten pretty good,” Rin teased.

“Thanks to you,” Sousuke said shortly, his brevity ever so present.

Rin felt his face heat up, and the familiar pull of his heart as he felt Sousuke’s eyes bore through him.

“Yeah, well, bet you still couldn’t beat me,” Rin scoffed.

Sousuke hummed lightly, but said nothing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Grinning cheekily, Rin took a bite of his snack, looking over at a pouting Sousuke.

“Not fair, I’d have won if it were in butterfly,” he said, looking down.

“No way! You’re good, but there’s no chance you could beat me.”

Sousuke gave him a mischievous look that sent a warm shock through Rin’s body, leaving a fuzzy feeling on his wrist, where the zeroes still sat, unchanging in their red glare.

With a smirk, Sousuke replied, “Winner gets to make the loser do whatever they want.”

Rin felt his smile grow even wider, if that was at all possible, and he finished his snack before responding. “Deal. But don’t come crying to me when you lose.”

Sousuke’s eyes lit up, a competitive fire blazing in the pools of light blue. “Same to you.”

“Race you there!” Rin shouted, jumping up and hurrying off.

“Oi, not fair!” Sousuke called after him, running to catch up.

The two laughed as they ran, and Rin could feel his heart pound with every step, both from running and from the pressure he felt in his chest from listening to Sousuke’s deep, hearty laugh.

For a moment, he wished with everything he had that Sousuke felt the same tightness in his chest when he looked at Rin.

They hurried to get into their jammers and grab their goggles, both anxious to see who would win.

After a long year of work, it made sense that Sousuke would be almost as good as Rin, but could he actually be _better_?

Rin felt his stomach sink at the idea, but at the same time, an unusual sense of pride swelled in his heart. He had helped Sousuke get to this point.

There they stood, ready to start. Rin couldn’t force the smile off of his face if he tried, and Sousuke had a gleam in his eyes that made Rin’s knees weak.

“No hard feelings when you lose, got it?” Sousuke smirked.

“Same to you,” Rin said, practically bouncing as he got ready.

The clock hand hit the mark and they were off, leaping into the pool as they had every time before, with careful precision.

Rin watched Sousuke out of the corner of his eye, noticing the slight inch he had on him. At the turn, he realized that Sousuke had gained much more than an inch, but he pushed forward, breathing, diving, kicking.

Their hands smacked against the wall of the pool and Sousuke jumped up, a victorious smile on his face. They climbed out and Rin sat down, breathing heavily as he pulled off his goggles.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Sousuke said, his eyes darkening and his brow furrowing.

“I’m not crying. Now what do you want, a bet’s a bet,”

Sousuke smiled warmly, and shrugged, “Let me think about it, okay?”

Rin glanced up at him and felt his brain practically shut down as he looked at Sousuke’s twinkling eyes, his bright smile, his gentle face that normally sat behind a bored, or even annoyed, glare.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Don’t _ever_ insult my dad like that again,” Rin hissed, slamming himself down onto the bench. He could feel hot tears prickle at his eyes, and his wrist was burning, the numbers a brighter red than ever before.

“I… I didn’t mean it to insult him,” Sousuke said quietly, wringing his towel in his hands. His voice sounded more forlorn and broken than Rin had ever heard. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, why’d you swim like that? You always swim better, so why’d you slow down today?” Rin grumbled, something catching in his throat. It almost hurt, the burning on his wrist searing the numbers even deeper into his skin. “Come on, don’t ignore me, Sousuke,” Rin hissed, the words collecting and tightening his voice.

“I’m just not like that about swimming. It’s not about the others for me,” Sousuke sighed, “Swimming on a relay team doesn’t make me any faster, no matter how buddy-buddy everyone acts. It’s just four people swimming by themselves in order. You’re not all together in the water, you’re alone-“

“No way! Relays are all _about_ the team! What don’t you get about that?” Rin said, sitting up and feeling his heart drop as Sousuke stared emotionlessly back at him.

Sousuke looked to his wrist, where the numbers seemed to be ready to leap off of his skin.

“I just think about it differently. I think I should just stick to individual events,” Sousuke said, his voice small.

Rin’s heart sunk even deeper, dissolving in his stomach. His wrist was searing into him, making his eyes water even more. With every word, he felt a knife dig deeper into his chest.

“I swim alone. I always have.”

A tear escaped down his cheek as he listened to his friend. His empty chest thudded slowly.

“I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else,” Sousuke said, clenching his teeth and standing up.

Rin sat, unmoving, as Sousuke left, feeling his insides shatter and jumble together into a mix of pain and sorrow.

Sousuke couldn’t have said that. Sousuke had to feel this bad about everything, right? They were _soulmates_ , they were supposed to be able to do things together with ease.

Rin felt like someone had ripped his timer off and replaced it with ice now, the sound of Sousuke’s footsteps getting weaker.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You’re going _where_?” Sousuke frowned, his eyebrows knitted.

“I’m gonna go to Iwatobi and swim there,” Rin shrugged, smiling to himself.

Sousuke paused, and Rin wondered what he could be thinking. As if he could feel Sousuke’s struggle, he felt his wrist itch, the zeroes feeling tight on his skin. He hoped that it wouldn’t start burning again. It had taken forever after their fight for it to just simply tighten when he thought about it.

Sousuke sighed, closing his eyes.

“I understand.”

Rin’s breath caught in his throat, but he felt relieved.

“O-Okay. But we’re still best friends, right? I’m not just gonna let you keep beating me at butterfly!” Rin said shakily, holding his fist out.

“We’re soulmates, Rin. And there’s no way I’d lose to you,” Sousuke smirked, his smile barely reaching his deepened blue eyes. He bumped his fist, a gentle shock sizzling where their hands met.

Rin’s heart stopped at the word. _Soulmates_. It’s what they were, no matter what anyone tried to say against it.

His wrist tightened again, the numbers pulling at the skin.

“Don’t forget about that promise. You won fairly, so you still gotta make up your mind,” Rin reminded him.

“I know, I’ll think about it some more.”

Rin smiled, but felt a cold feeling in his chest. Why did it feel like they weren’t close anymore? Ever since the fight, it had felt like his timer was trying to spin back to life.

But they were soulmates, no matter what. He was forever connected to those blue eyes.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Everything changed after being on a team with Haru.

A fire had coursed through his veins as he raced with the team.

They were connected, not just because Haru and Makoto’s timers matched, and not just because they had won.

But Rin still felt that chill. When he saw how easily Makoto talked to Haru, as if they had known each other for decades.

Was it supposed to be that easy for soulmates? Was he supposed to be able to talk to Sousuke about anything and everything?

Why did it feel like everything was wrong?

When he decided to go to Australia, he told Sousuke first, knowing that, out of everyone, Sousuke would know what to say.

“I understand.”

That was all he said as Rin told him over the phone.

Weren’t they supposed to talk about important things for hours?

Why was it so easy for Haru and Makoto? It wasn’t fair, not at all, not in the _least_.

But then it got worse.

He woke the next morning to feel his wrist buzzing, something he hadn’t felt in years, ever since that day in class.

But he saw it. It was counting down again.

Rin felt like screaming, he wanted to yell at himself for messing this up, for managing to ruin the one thing he had.

Then he remembered what his mom had told him.

 _“Rin, when your timer starts counting down again, something has happened to Sousuke,” she had said gently, “And the timer will be counting to when you’ll see him again._ ”

Rin shook his head, something could not have happened to Sousuke. They had just spoken yesterday about… Australia.

Rin ran to get dressed and hurriedly threw shoes on, yelling a quick goodbye to his mother as he ran outside. Running the same path he had gone so many times, wishing he could run faster, just to get to Sousuke, as if that could save him.

Skidding to stop in front of his house, Rin panted as he knocked, cold sweat accompanying the chill in his heart.

The door opened to a solemn-looking… Sousuke?

“Sousuke, but, but my timer, how’d you,” Rin heaved, just now feeling the how tears as the edges of his eyes.

“Mine started again,” Sousuke said calmly, but Rin could hear a raw scraping underneath his voice.

“But why, I thought, I thought we were soulmates! I thought they didn’t start up again!” Rin said, tears splashing down his cheeks.

“I don’t know,” Sousuke muttered, clenching his fists.

Rin’s heart snapped, enveloped in ice and shattering inside of the cold prison of his chest.

Their eyes met, watery scarlet meeting dark, sad cerulean.

“We’re still friends. We’ll always be friends, right?” Rin gulped, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest.

“Of course.”

Rin looked at their timers. Rin’s was to go off a whole year before Sousuke’s.

“When mine stops, I’ll tell you,” Rin said, straightening up and sniffling, “and you gotta tell me about yours.

Sousuke nodded. “We’ll be in high school by then.”

“Yeah,” Rin breathed, thinking about how far away that seemed.

“Rin?” Sousuke whispered.

Rin looked at him and felt the pain get worse. Sousuke’s eyes were glassy, his lips pressed into a flat line.

“I’m sorry if I did this.”

Rin’s mouth fell open. “N-no, no one did this! I’m sure this is just some stupid mistake, maybe they’ll go back to normal tomorrow or something,” he stuttered, frantically shaking his head.

Sousuke sniffled and said, voice broken, “But yesterday I wished that I wasn’t gonna lose my soulmate. I didn’t wanna lose you, and I said stupid stuff and I’m sorry.”

Rin shook his head and threw his arms around Sousuke. “You didn’t do this. You’re not losing me. I’ll write to you, I swear. And I’ll go kick butt in Australia. Then when I come back we can have another race, okay?”

Sousuke tentatively wrapped his arms around Rin, curling his fingers in Rin’s shirt. “Okay. You gotta be the best over there, and then you can be a real swimmer, like you said,” Sousuke said, pressing his face into Rin’s shoulder.

Rin nodded, although he felt an almost subzero chill shoot through him as he did so.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So, you’ll make sure to write, okay?” Sousuke mumbled, looking at Rin nervously.

“Of course! I’ll tell you all about how amazing I’m doing, and how I’m the best swimmer in all of Australia!” Rin grinned, pulling on his backpack straps.

Sousuke smiled, tugging at the bracelet on his wrist. It was a simple black weave, but it covered the clock that still ticked away.

Rin had a matching one, hiding the itchy red numbers. They’d figured out exactly when each were supposed to go off, not without many online calculators and several double checks, and both of them had promised to tell each other the moment they met whoever else was supposed to be their soulmate.

“If you meet them in Australia, you have to send me a picture, okay?” Sousuke said slowly.

Rin smirked, trying to hide the dull pain that buzzed through him at the words. “Of course, dummy, but it’s gonna be a while. We’ll be in high school by then. I could be back in Japan, you know, after I beat everyone in Australia.”

Sousuke’s mouth twitched up into a smile and he scoffed, “Yeah, but I’ll still be better than you.”

Rin opened his mouth to say some clever remark, but the bus driver shouted out to him to hurry up. He swallowed and took a deep breath. Throwing his arms around Sousuke, he whispered, “Don’t forget about me, okay?”

Sousuke squeezed him gently and muttered, “I’ll never forget you, Rin.”

Rin curled his fingers in his jacket one more time before letting go and backing up, a wobbly smile on his face.

“I’ll be back before you know it!” Rin said proudly.

Sousuke nodded, watching as Rin climbed onto the bus. He sat down at an open window and waved at Sousuke, a bright smile on his face.

Rin watched as Sousuke’s face fell, his shoulders tightening and bunching up.

“I’m sorry for messing the timers up,” Sousuke pouted as the bus pulled away, looking at Rin like he was moments away from dying.

Rin shook his head, trying to think of a response, but said nothing as the bus drove away, leaving Sousuke standing alone on the curb, the weight of the world pressing on his shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sousuke smiled as he opened his mailbox, seeing a little envelope with his name on it.

Since he left a month ago, Rin had sent a letter almost every week, although for the first few days, they came almost daily.

Sousuke hurried inside and tore it open, tossing the envelope on his desk next to the others.

_“It’s so freaking hot down here!”_

The letters always started off with some complaint about the weather. Sousuke grinned to himself, a short laugh caught in his throat.

Rin talked about the different people on his team, about the pools there, about how much he misses walking to the shop for a snack after practice.

Sousuke finished the letter, noticing the little note at the bottom that was written on every letter so far.

_“4 more years.”_

Sousuke glanced at his timer, the bracelet pushed to the side. His had a while extra year after Rin’s, and he felt like he was losing his best friend,

No, he was losing his _soulmate_.

Rin had been so happy when he said he was going to Australia to swim. Sousuke was excited to hear that Rin was going to work really hard for his dream, but deep down he felt lost. He wanted Rin to do his absolute best, but he wanted to be there with him when he was doing so.

It had been stupid to wish that Rin wouldn’t leave him behind, especially now that their timers started again. It was like the universe wanted to rub it in his face that Rin was gone, every time the number of days got smaller, he felt like Rin walked a step further from him.

The tightness in his chest returned, and he felt the quick shock of pain shoot through his shoulder and neck.

Sousuke frowned. He was going to beat this, and when Rin came back, they could be best friends again and swim together.

It was only a short while after that the letters stopped. At the same time, his timer’s number turned a dull gray, as if the numbers felt as dejected and alone as Sousuke did.

_4 more years._

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin felt defeated. He wanted to hide away in his room forever.

Even better, he wanted to go back to Australia, far away from Haru and his stupid perfect timer.

Haru’s timer, with its bright blue zeroes that hadn’t changed since they met.

Haru’s timer, that connected him to someone that cared about him.

Haru’s timer, that never started back up again.

But the worst of all of it was that Haru had seen his timer. The bright red, although remarkably dimmer than a year before, numbers that counted down to some inevitable meeting that would break Rin.

And to rub salt in the wound, Haru had _beaten him._

Haru had completely outswam him. It was like Haru had barely even tried.

After going all the way to Australia, after training so _damn hard_ , Rin had lost.

Rin walked home, his steps unsteady.

He wanted to run to Sousuke’s house, to bury his face in his shirt and cry, but he couldn’t.

Rin had promised the he’d be the best. And he had to get better or he could never look Sousuke in the eye again.

His wrist burned like hell, and his heart ached, but he kept going.

 _Just three more years. Maybe he’d find someone who he could look in the eye without seeing sharp, blue disappointment_.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Walking away, Rin heard the dull thud of the trophy hitting the ground, the clang of metal following it.

It was too much to look at them.

Those two, with their perfect timers.

Even Nagisa’s was close to stopping.

But they still had the same intense bond as before, possibly even more so.

Watching Makoto cling to Haru in fear, he saw how Haru’s eyes softened to dark pools of azure.

How Makoto’s eyes, even shut as tight as they were, sparkled emerald when he looked at his soulmate.

How dare they act like that around him.

How dare Haru be so calm about everything, after he had seen Rin’s timer.

Rin walked down the dark, empty halls, wondering when he could feel that way again.

Bright teal eyes shot into his mind, as if to taunt him even more.

Deep, gentle laughter echoed in his head.

He still couldn’t face Sousuke.

Rin felt his throat tighten.

Was he _ever_ going to be able to?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin walked up the stairs boredly, his bag thrown over his shoulder.

Australia had, in a word, sucked. Not only was it hot as the deep pits of hell, but he could barely say that he had improved. He knew that he had grown and matured physically, much stronger than four years ago, but he still wouldn’t be able to say anything to Sousuke, wherever he was now.

Rin sighed, annoyed that his timer was feeling particularly itchy today. He had woke up to it burning, and simply smacked the old, ratty bracelet over it.

He had stopped looking at it. It only reminded him of when it was at zero, and how much he missed that.

Pulling his sleeve up to scratch at it, he felt his heart drop into his stomach.

How could he have not realized this? There were barely five minutes left on it.

Rin felt like his bag was full of bricks. The walls seemed to get closer around him. He could hear his blood rushing in his ears, the steadily increasing rate of his heart sending adrenaline into his bloodstream.

Rin stumbled to lean against the wall, fists tightening around his bag’s strap. He needed to keep going. There was someone waiting for him, somewhere in this building.

Rin took a deep breath, pushing his nerves down into his chest, and loosened his grip.

“Three minutes, three minutes,” he whispered, trying not to get too worked up again.

It was down to a minute when he reached his floor. He found his room almost immediately and looked at his wrist.

With mere seconds left, the person on the other side of the door had to be them.

Rin put on a calm face and took a deep breath, opening his door.

Someone sat at the desk by the wall, their head perking up. They were staring at their timer, too.

Their silver hair shone in the bright morning light filtering in from the window.

Shocking blue eyes met terrified red ones.

Rin dropped his bag.

He had the most beautiful eyes Rin had ever seen. The pale blue shimmered like ocean water, set into a gentle, pale face.

There was a little beauty mark under his right eye, a tiny spot of darkness on his otherwise bright face.

“A-are you-” the kid said nervously, holding his arm out.

Black zeroes blinked on his skin, mirroring the red light coming from under Rin’s bracelet.

Rin nodded, pulling the bracelet back.

“I’m Nitori Aiichirou,” he said, standing and bowing his head slightly.

“Rin. Matsuoka Rin,” Rin said shortly, still in shock from it all.

Nitori smiled, and Rin felt like he was standing in front of the sun.

It was as if light blue eyes had erased every single memory of deep, teal ones and dark, azure ones in that moment.

All that mattered was that there was someone standing in front of him that cared, even just a little.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Joint practice? No one told me,” Rin scoffed, stopping so Nitori could catch up.

“Yes, Matsuoka-senpai. Captain Mikoshiba made the plans with Iwatobi’s manager. Isn’t she your sister?” Nitori panted, leaning over to catch his breath.

Rin hummed, looking down at him.

Since the first day, they hadn’t talked about their timers much. But there was something there, a tight, yet somehow comfortable tension that held them together.

“The team is small, with only a few members. Tachibana Makoto, Hazuki Nagisa, and Nanase Haruka,” Nitori said, smiling, “They have girly names, huh? Just like-“

Rin glared at him from the corner of his eye, eliciting a small squeak from Nitori’s mouth.

“How’d you know all of that?” he scoffed.

“I remember that race, I mean, I was at that tournament. When you relayed with them, it was so amazing. You never looked at me, but I knew that you were special. It- it burned when I saw you with them,” Nitori said quietly, fidgeting with his sleeve.

Rin looked at him softly, realizing that Nitori’s timer had never been set to meet someone else before him. Rin was Nitori’s only soulmate.

“But I think Captain said it’d just be first years practicing with them,” Nitori muttered.

Rin nodded. “Then you’d better do your best.”

Nitori’s eyes brightened, and he nodded, smiling widely.

They hurried to catch up with the others, and Rin could feel Nitori’s eyes staring at him, his smile shining brightly in the afternoon sun.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin stopped next to Nitori, nodding silently.

“Senpai, is something wrong?” Nitori asked, eyes wide.

“It’s nothing,” Rin muttered, glaring over at the small, disorganized swim team.

Gou noticed him and stood up, hurrying over to his side.

“Rin!” she beamed, stopping and smiling up at him with bright red eyes matching his own.

“What are you trying to do here, Gou?” Rin hissed.

“Hm?” she asked, tilting her head slightly.

“Rin-chan! We’re gonna swim together!” Nagisa shouted, hurrying to stand next to Gou.

“Together? Like I’d waste my time on you,” Rin spat, trying to ignore the concerned look that sat on both Nitori and Gou’s faces.

Rin began walking away, turning quickly when Gou’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“Rin, didn’t your- is it done?” Gou whispered, not wanting to draw attention to them.

Gou had found out about his timer one night that he was home for the holiday. He had taken the bracelet off to wash the dishes, and she noticed that the zeroes were longer there.

Gou was quick to figure out when it’d go off, not even needing the calculators and resources Sousuke and he had used. Despite his skill in the class, Gou was much brighter than he was when it came to math.

And after not visiting home very often, Gou had never gotten the chance to get an answer.

“Yeah,” Rin said quickly, pulling his arm back.

“Who… who is it?” Gou mumbled, following him to the door.

Rin sighed, knowing that she’d pester him forever if he didn’t say anything. Looking back at Nitori, he saw the knowing look in those blue eyes.

“Nitori.”

Gou’s face split into a smile, and she chirruped, “Rin, that’s great!”

Rin felt the ghost of a smile pass over his mouth, and asked, nonchalantly as possible, “Is Chigusa doing well?”

Gou gasped quietly, but nodded enthusiastically, her smile practically distorting her face. “Yeah, we’re in the same class this year, too!”

“Good. Now get back to your team. They’ll probably break something if you don’t watch them,” Rin scoffed, brushing her off as he walked away.

Gou’s smile turned bittersweet, but she let him leave. As much as he seemed to have changed, he was still Rin.

Walking up to where he knew he could watch the practice, Rin stopped and looked over the edge. He tried to be as unnoticeable as possible, but immediately he saw Nitori catch his eyes and smile with a tiny wink of his blue eye.

Rin watched as Makoto swam, noticing the power in his strokes that always had been there. However, as great as Makoto was now, Rin could easily see how much he disliked swimming freestyle. The fluid motions of his arms were slightly tense, unlike how he swam backstroke.

Glancing at Haru, he felt the same anger build up at the other’s expression. Haru stared at the pool, and Rin noticed that the blue zeroes glowed gently on his arm, making him realize that Haru’s eyes were following his teammate in the pool with such admiration.

Rin frowned, angered that it had always been so easy for them. They never doubted their bond. There were no ‘what ifs’ for them.

Makoto was always right behind Haru, as if he was tethered to the other’s body by a bungee cord.

Nagisa swam as easily as he used to, granted, a little faster, and with much more learned confidence.

Speedo glasses, the new guy to their team, stepped up slowly, face contorted in concentration.

Rin watched as closely as the rest of Iwatobi as he took his place.

When speedo glasses leapt into the air, it was perfectly angled.

Then he managed to flop into the water like a dead body.

For a moment, the air was tense, silence freezing time.

Then, another moment passed, followed by another, and another…

“He’s not coming up…” Gou said nervously.

Haru leapt into the pool, diving down to where the kid was, met by Nagisa.

They pulled him up, and Rin had to hold back a laugh as he realized what this meant.

 _He doesn’t even know how to swim_.

Then, Rin saw the purple zeroes on the kid’s wrist.

And the pink zeroes on Nagisa’s.

The damn punk was Nagisa’s soulmate.

Rin shook his head, turning and walking away.

There was no way he could handle having someone like that as a soulmate.

For the first time in a long time, he felt a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. He was glad to have gotten someone he liked. Both times.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin stared at his phone, reading the message from Makoto again and again.

_Sorry we didn’t get to see you at practice for very long. Hopefully we can see you at prefecturals!_

Rin sighed, tossing his phone onto the blankets next to him.

Of course Makoto was still as gentle and kind as he always was. He probably didn’t even know why Rin couldn’t stand to look him in the eye.

Those perfect idiots with their perfect relationship.

The bathroom door opened and Nitori came out, a towel on his head. He had hurried into the shower after practice, and now looked exhausted from the day’s events.

“Matsuoka-senpai, did you see the boy on Iwatobi’s team? I thought he was going to drown,” Nitori said worriedly, sitting down at his desk.

“Yeah. What were they thinking, bringing him to a join practice,” Rin scoffed, looking over at the wall.

Nitori smiled softly. “How is your sister? I saw you talking to her.”

“She’s fine. Cheerful as ever,” Rin stated curtly, as if reciting a formula.

“Did she ever tell you about Captain’s timer?”

Rin’s ears perked up at the mention of timers, and he shook his head.

Nitori’s eyes widened. “Oh, then maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you, um, sorry,” he squeaked, turning in his chair to face away from Rin.

Rin’s eyes narrowed and he growled, “Nitori, what is it?”

“Uh, I _really_ shouldn’t say, Captain might get mad at me-” Nitori stammered, covering his face with the towel.

Rin stood and walked over to him, gently pulling the towel down. Nitori stared at him with nervous blue eyes.

“Nitori.”

“Um, so, you know how Captain met with your sister about the joint practice? A-apparently they had talked once before, when Matsuoka-san was looking for you.”

Rin’s eyes steeled at the mention of his sister, and he imagined a million ways that this could go wrong. He nodded at Nitori to continue.

“So, Matsuoka-san’s timer is at zero. You knew that, right?”

Rin nodded, sitting down at his own desk and holding the towel in his hands, slightly wringing it.

“Well, Mikoshiba-senpai’s stopped. When Matsuoka-san started to talk to him, it got to zero. But hers stayed the same.”

Rin’s eyes widened. He’d heard of some people not having soulmates, or being born at zero, but for someone’s soulmate to not be theirs in return?

Nitori tugged on his bangs, nervously waiting for a response.

“Is that all?”

“As f-far as I know. I heard that he hasn’t said anything to her. I think it’d be a lot to handle. It’s hard when your soulmate isn’t there with you, so not ever being able to be with them would be really hard,” Nitori whispered, his voice almost silent.

Rin stared at him in shock, both from the news about Mikoshiba and at his comment.

“Nitori, are you unhappy?” Rin asked quickly.

“N-no! I’m fine,” Nitori said, avoiding his gaze.

Rin frowned. “Nitori, I… I don’t want you to feel upset.”

Nitori looked up then, and Rin realized that, again, he was all Nitori had.

Nitori’s clock wasn’t like his. It wasn’t just going to up and start over again. For Nitori, there was only one soulmate.

“I’m not _not_ happy that we’re, you know,” Rin said.

Nitori nodded, glancing at his wrist.

“I just, I had some stuff happen, and I’m not, it’s weird, no, it’s just-“ Rin tried to explain, feeling himself get frustrated.

“It’s okay, Matsuoka-senpai,” Nitori sighed, looking down at the ground.

Rin frowned. “No, Nitori, I need to- I’ve never told anyone else. Even Gou doesn’t really know everything.”

Nitori looked at him, staring patiently with softened blue eyes.

“My timer was at zero before I met you. I mean, it wasn’t when I got here, it started again four years ago, but it had been zeroed before,” Rin said, trying not to get too emotional.

Nitori’s eyes filled with something dark, like he had been betrayed, but he nodded for Rin to continue.

“I had met someone and our timers matched. Then, both of them started back up one day.”

Rin sighed, feeling his heart tug at the memories.

“I just, it hurts to think about timers and soulmates. We haven’t really spoken since then, and I just-“

“Matsuoka-senpai, it’s okay,” Nitori smiled, “I understand.” His blue eyes shone with something akin to relief.

_I understand._

Rin’s heart pounded.

They were surprisingly similar, as different as they might seem.

The blue eyes, the gentle smiles, even this stupid ‘I understand’ thing.

“I’m kind of tired,” Nitori mumbled, standing up.

Rin looked down at his hands. He had twisted the towel tightly, and he dropped it quickly, standing up in front of Nitori.

“I’ll do better now,” he said quickly, setting his hands on Nitori’s shoulders.

Nitori’s eyes widened, and he gasped quietly.

“I can’t promise that I can be that for you right now, but… but maybe we can try,” Rin said, feeling hope surge through his chest.

Nitori beamed, nodding. “Thank you, Matsuoka-senpai!”

Rin dropped his hands and felt the corners of his mouth twist upwards.

After so long, he felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t so jealous of Haru.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin smacked his hand against the pool wall, straightening up.

“Great job, Matsuoka-senpai! You really have improved,” Nitori said, beaming down at him.

Rin gulped in chlorine-tainted air, pulling his goggles back down tightly.

“One more time,” he hissed, starting again.

Nitori started the stopwatch, but frowned at Rin’s back. He had been practicing extra hours recently, along with strength and cardio training, and Nitori was worried he’d run himself into a rut eventually.

As Rin finished, he jumped up, gasping for breath.

“Are you done?” Nitori asked quickly, backing up as Rin got out of the pool.

“Yeah,” Rin panted, taking his towel from the smaller boy.

They collected their things and Rin changed out of his swimsuit, pulling on his running clothes.

As they walked back to their dorm, Nitori pulled out the record book Rin had given him to keep track of his improvement.

Rin was steadily improving, with some plateaus in times every once in a while, but overall, he was set to head for nationals.

Nitori peeked at the smaller chart he had drawn of his own times.

It was mainly a flat line, with some drops scattered along it. He was trying his absolute hardest, but it seemed like he was never going to improve.

Rin sat down on his bed when they walked in, shaking his hair out with a towel.

“Your times are amazing, Matsuoka-senpai!” Nitori said excitedly, setting the journal down on Rin’s desk.

Rin hummed in agreement. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your times, Nitori?” he sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

Nitori’s face fell and he shook his head. “I’m not getting any better. I’m practically a lost cause at this point,” he breathed out, as if the words sliced through him as he spoke.

Rin stopped drying his hair and looked up at Nitori.

His shoulders were turned in, making him look even smaller. He clenched his fists and pouted, “I’m trying so hard, but I guess hard work is nothing if you don’t have natural talent.”

Rin stood suddenly, dropping his towel.

“Is that really what you think, Nitori?”

Nitori stared at him, speechless. He blinked and said, “I saw Iwatobi’s team, that boy couldn’t even swim, and what’s he supposed to do? And Nanase-senpai looked like he was barely trying-“

“What does that have to do with anything? They’re completely out of shape, they haven’t been doing much of _anything_. And talent isn’t what will make them better. It takes hard work, Nitori. You can’t give up,” Rin spat, glaring down at him.

Rin felt like screaming even louder. He looked at scared blue eyes and saw saddened teal ones.

Hard work was the only way he could get himself to face Sousuke. Who was Nitori to tell him it was nothing?

_Who was Nitori to try and take Sousuke away from him?_

Nitori stepped back, bringing his hands to his chest.

“I’m going for a run,” Rin barked, walking out of the room, ignoring the icy feeling in his wrist.

Nitori stood completely still, staring at the door. He felt his heart drop, and his wrist burned.

This was not their first argument, but it _was_ the first time Rin walked out. Usually Nitori sulked away or they both sat in silence until Nitori apologized.

Rin never apologized.

Rin stormed downstairs, ignoring the scared looks from a group of first-years in the hallway behind him. He started jogging as soon as he exited the building, wanting to run and run until everything seemed better.

The image of glossy baby blue eyes was stained onto his mind.

Stepping back, putting his hands up, slamming his mouth shut.

Whether he meant to or not, Nitori had perceived Rin as a threat.

Rin had _threatened_ Nitori. Rin had threatened his _soulmate_.

Rin shook his head, ignoring the hot tears running down his cheeks.

He had to get stronger. If he could only beat Haru, he’d finally be able to face Sousuke.

Rin would be the fastest. He’d show them that you didn’t have to perfect.

He’d prove that he was okay, that he’d done it all with a messed up timer.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nitori walked at Rin’s side, silent as they passed the various shops and stores.

They had an afternoon off, although both of them knew that Rin would still be practicing that night, he always did, so Rin wanted to go look at swimsuits. And of course, once Captain Mikoshiba found out where they were going, he gathered half of the team and paraded them downtown.

Said swimmer was at the front of the group, proudly announcing his swimsuit size to everyone in the near vicinity, and yelling at some first years for not being excited enough.

“This is our battle armor we are talking about, we can’t go out there naked, or worse, in lame swimsuits! Everyone needs to at least _look_ at some, got it?” he shouted, grinning as the team shouted their excitement back at him.

Meanwhile, the other people walking past them were looking trying not to look them in the eyes, else Mikoshiba start talking to them about the importance of a properly-fitting swimsuit.

Nitori glanced at his wrist, and felt the sharp spike of pain dig deeper into the zeroed area. It had been like this since their fight.

Immediately, Nitori had apologized when Rin had gotten back from his run, but Rin simply ignored him.

Trying to ignore the slicing pain in his wrist, Nitori blinked back the hot tears that bubbled up every time he thought of the argument.

Rin’s eyes had been so cold, the normally scorching scarlet replaced by a deep, hardened maroon. He looked at Nitori like he was the scum of the Earth, only confirming Nitori’s doubts about himself.

When Rin looked at him now, his eyes were even darker than before, but they weren’t cold or harsh.

They were empty.

Nitori had avoided interacting with him as best as he could, getting to bed as soon as they got back from Rin’s extra practice, hurrying out of their room on his way to class, taking showers earlier in the morning so that he wouldn’t even have to pass Rin during their morning routines.

When Rin had asked if he wanted to go shopping with him, Nitori had squeaked out an answer, not even thinking it through.

Looking back, it was probably his worst decision in a long time, only behind the time he had chosen to buy that purple and yellow swimsuit. Why had he let his mother convince him it was a good choice?

Breaking out of his reverie, Nitori noticed that Rin had stopped in front of the store where the rest of Samezuka had ran into.

“Right in here,” Rin mumbled, walking in and glancing back at Nitori.

Nitori followed him to an aisle with long jammers, very similar to the ones Rin already owned.

“Hmm…” Rin mumbled, looking at two different pairs, one with three red stripes on the sides, and another with four.

Nitori smiled to himself, despite the tension he currently felt between them. While a ferocious, unstoppable swimmer in the pool, he tended to be a very picky, thoughtful one when it came to his jammers.

“I’m going to go try this one on,” Rin said, nodding in the direction of the changing rooms.

Nitori nodded, and watched as he walked away. He felt his stomach rumble quietly and remembered that he had seen some vending machines on their way in.

It wouldn’t hurt to grab a protein bar or something. Maybe he could get something for Rin. Could something like that break the frozen air between them?

Nitori walked over to where he thought was the right area, only ending up on another section of swimsuits.

“I should’ve just stuck over there by Rin,” he sighed.

“Rei-chan! Look at this one!”

“N-Nagisa-kun, I said no more speedos!”

Nitori’s head perked up and he glanced over to where two boys stood, one clinging to the other’s arm.

It was the Iwatobi swimmers!

“Does that mean _he’s_ here, too?” Nitori wondered, ducking behind a clothing rack.

When Rin had told him that his timer had zeroed before, he immediately thought of Nanase Haruka. Rin always seemed to get tense around him, so it made sense if they had been matched.

Nitori looked around, searching for dark-haired swimmers. He didn’t see anyone, but he caught a sign pointing towards vending machines.

Sighing, he walked over there, figuring that if Nanase were going to meet Rin here, maybe it could be a good thing.

“Fancy meeting you here, Gou-kun!”

“Please don’t use Gou and –kun together.”

Nitori recognized the first voice immediately as their overexcited captain, and the second voice sounded slightly familiar, almost like…

Matsuoka-san? She was Iwatobi’s manager, so maybe she was here with them.

“We’re here looking for swimsuits. Oh, have you seen the sale on protein powder by the front counter? I’ve heard that stuff is amazing!” Captain rambled, obviously grinning widely by the sound of his voice.

“Does that mean Rin is here?” Gou immediately asked.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, Matsuoka is here.”

Nitori sighed, knowing he had to hurry so that Rin didn’t leave him behind.

“Captain Mikoshiba, I didn’t know you were zeroed,” Gou said, amazed.

Nitori stopped in his tracks, only leaning forward slightly to look at them.

Mikoshiba looked down at his wrist, uncovered as he had waved at her. The scarlet zeroes shone brightly, and Nitori felt a slight pang in his chest for the captain.

“Oh, yeah. It was kind of recent,” he said, his voice sounding much smaller than before.

Gou smiled sympathetically. “I’m sure they’re wonderful. They have to be if they’re matched with you.”

“Uh, Gou-kun, that’s actually something I wanted to talk about, maybe not now, but soon, I mean,” Mikoshiba said, blushing slightly.

“Is something wrong?”

Mikoshiba straightened up and, with wide eyes, blurted, “I zeroed when I met you!”

Nitori leaned back and smacked his hand over his face. If there was one thing he was good at, the Captain could be very, _very_ honest if he wanted to.

“Oh, that’s not, how can that happen? I… I already zeroed, a long time ago,” Gou said sadly, shaking her head.

“No, I know, and I don’t want to mess that up or anything, I just, I thought you should know.”

Mikoshiba’s head hung low, looking more dejected than Nitori had ever seen.

“W-well, I can’t make any promises. Chigusa and I have been together for a while, but I’m sure we can talk about it some more? I can’t be this for you now, but Chigusa and I can work something out with you! We’re really open, and I do like you,” Gou said, smiling.

Mikoshiba perked up, his mouth curving up into a bright smile.

“That- that’d be awesome, Gou-kun!” he exclaimed, grabbing her hands and squeezing them.

Gou smiled at him, her face gentle compared to his exaggeratedly excited expression.

Nitori was about to head back when a loud thud came from the back of the store, followed by muffled cursing.

Mikoshiba stood straight, his face becoming serious.

“I swear, if Nakagawa broke anything again- oh, sorry, Gou-kun, I gotta go check that out! But, um, here’s my number, just call me whenever you want!” he said hurriedly, scribbling on a receipt and handing it to her.

“See you later!” he said, hurrying past Nitori, accidentally knocking into his shoulder, “Oh, Nitori, didn’t see you there, sorry! Hey, go find Matsuoka! We gotta go soon!”

Nitori mumbled something in return, walking into the small hallway where the vending machines were located.

“Matsuoka-san, I didn’t know you were here,” he said quietly, trying to pretend he hadn’t just eavesdropped on their entire conversation.

“Oh, Nitori-kun, are you here with Rin?” Gou asked, smiling softly.

Nitori nodded, pulling out some money and looking at his options. It looked like both machines were just drinks, but after rooming with Rin for so long, he knew all of his favorites.

“Nitori-kun, you and Rin are soulmates, right?” Gou asked tentatively, picking at her nails.

“W-what? Oh, yeah, um, our timers match,” Nitori replied, picking up the drinks from the slot they slid down to.

“Did Rin tell you about him?” Gou whispered, knitting her brow.

Nitori could make an easy guess about who she was referring to, but shook his head.

“Matsuoka-senpai told me that his timer wasn’t set for me originally, but he didn’t say who the other person was,” he sighed.

“Oh. Well, um, his name was-“

Gou was cut off by a voice from just outside of the store, a familiar low, angry growl of a voice.

“…better than this. Have you done nothing in the past three years?”

Gou’s head perked up, and she hurried to the edge of the wall.

“I’m not better than someone who trained in Australia.”

Nitori felt his stomach flip as he recognized the voices. Rin _had_ found Nanase.

Rin’s voice deepened to how it was during their argument.

“Are you mocking me, Haru?”

“No. You won our race. You’re better.”

Nitori didn’t need to see his face to tell that Nanase was being completely serious.

 “It’d be impossible to _not_ beat you. You haven’t been training or anything. I want a serious race, Haru.”

“A win is a win. Isn’t that good enough for you?”

“No, Haru! I want a real race!” Rin spat.

Nitori looked at Gou, and frowned when he saw how concerned she looked. Her lips were turned down into a pout, and she looked down at the ground with dark, hidden eyes.

There was a pause, and then Rin sighed.

“I want to be able to move on.”

“You are ridiculous. I only swim free. I don’t swim for anyone,” Haru said, footsteps thundering in the silence that followed.

Nitori and Gou jumped when they heard loud, angry steps, and then the crash of something against the fence.

“No. You’ll swim for Makoto. You aren’t free for him,” Rin hissed.

Nitori hugged the drinks to his chest, feeling his heart pound.

It _was_ Nanase. Nitori couldn’t compete with someone like him.

“You are going to swim for me. I’ll show you that you don’t need a perfect timer to be strong,” Rin said, his voice weak and almost shaky.

“Fine,” the sound of the fence creaking broke up Haru’s words, “But promise me that you won’t cry if you lose. You won’t quit. You won’t embarrass yourself if I win. You won’t give up on him.”

“I’m not a child anymore. I’m not going to give up on swimming. Or on anyone. This time, I’ll win, and I’ll show you what strength means, how working at something will make it even better than something that’s always been perfect. I’ll make it clear how different you and I are.”

Nitori’s heart swelled at how confident Rin sounded all of the sudden.

“Get ready to settle this at prefecturals. Don’t show up as pathetically weak as you are now.”

Rin’s voice got further away, his footsteps calm and strong.

“See you there,” Rin finished.

Gou looked back at Nitori, a hardened look in her eyes. She nodded, and gestured for him to follow after her brother.

“Thank you, Matsuoka-san,” he bowed, smiling before hurrying after Rin, “Matsuoka-senpai! Wait! I got you a drink!”

Nanase looked down at him in surprise as he passed him. Nitori looked forward, not able to bring himself to look into his eyes.

He couldn’t face someone who had been the world to Rin before him. He wasn’t anything compared to Nanase, and didn’t want to feel worse by seeing how perfect Nanase was for Rin.

Rin stopped at the corner, turning to him, surprised.

“What?”

“I got a drink for you, Matsuoka-senpai!” Nitori said, holding out the can of Pocket Sweat.

“Oh. Thanks,” Rin muttered.

“I think Captain was going to head back soon, so we can probably just go, I mean, if you want to,” Nitori said quickly.

Rin nodded, and began walking away. Nitori walked just a step behind, drowning in the nervous silence surrounding him.

“Thanks for coming with me, Nitori.”

Nitori looked at Rin, noticing the way his mouth drew in a flat, solemn line, despite the bright flashes of emotion swimming through his eyes. He skipped a step and matched Rin’s strides, looking at him earnestly.

“You’re welcome, Matsuoka-senpai. I guess you didn’t end up getting a swimsuit, though, huh?”

Rin shook his head and mumbled, “Something distracted me.”

“Well, we can always go next time we have a day off, right?” Nitori said, smiling up at him.

Rin looked at him, and Nitori could swear that it looked like Rin was crying. His eyes were glossy, and he bit his bottom lip, a look of raw desperation in his eyes.

Then, Rin exhaled deeply and smirked.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to drag you out of the room again. You can’t spend all day cooped up in our room. Although you could spare a few minutes cleaning that awful desk of yours,” Rin scoffed.

Nitori grinned, nodding. “I swear I cleaned it last week!”

“Yeah, and then you tore it apart looking for some homework assignment,” Rin reminded him, elbowing him gently.

Nitori laughed, glad to be able to talk with Rin again.

Maybe they weren’t perfect, but they could be pretty close.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rin stood next to the captain, listening to him bark at his teammates.

“Yamanaka, what the hell are you doing? Inoue, keep it up! C’mon, work hard, everyone!”

He sighed, tired from the extra practice he’d done every night for the past week. It was taxing on his body to push it too much, but his times had gotten so much better that he could handle the minor fatigue.

Nitori was next to him, breathing heavily from just finishing several intense laps. His chest heaved, expanding, then shrinking back into itself.

Rin watched him carefully, noticing the slight frown on his face. Nitori’s times had gotten better in the past two weeks, but in the past few days, they had plateaued and then, today, had gotten suddenly worse.

As hard as Rin pushed himself, Nitori was at least twice as hard on himself. Rin could stop at his limit, but Nitori liked to push at his, a dangerous thing for a young swimmer.

“Nitori, do you need a break?” Rin asked quietly, so that only he could hear.

“No, Matsuoka-senpai, I’m… I’m fine,” Nitori panted, smiling weakly.

Rin raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything else. He could chew Nitori out after practice.

“Matsuoka, you’re up after Nakagawa,” Mikoshiba yelled, “Nakagawa, one more lap. Go all out!”

Suddenly, Rin felt like someone was watching him. There was an itch on the back of his head, and he felt like sneezing. And he knew what Makoto always said about that.

_Someone must be talking about you, Rin._

Rin snapped his head up at the window, but saw nothing.

Nitori let a deep breath out and asked, “Is something wrong, Matsuoka-senpai?”

“No, I just… thought I smelled something.”

Nitori tilted his head. “Smelled something?”

“Smelled like mackerel,” Rin hissed through his teeth, feeling an eerie presence.

“Ah, you have a good nose, Matsuoka! We’re having mackerel curry for lunch!” Mikoshiba yelled excitedly.

“Wonderful,” Rin mumbled, glaring at the window.

“Now get in the pool, Matsuoka. And Nitori, go and time him. You need a break,” Mikoshiba barked.

The two headed to the free lane, and Rin felt glad that he wasn’t the only one aware of Nitori’s exhaustion.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nitori collected his bag from the counter, thanking the cashier and moving aside for Rin.

After working hard today, Nitori felt tired enough to pass out on the spot. He had done so many laps, he’d have to look at the records to know exactly how many he’d done.

Rin took his purchases and they headed for the door. Rin shoved his hands in his pockets, stopping briefly to glance at a newspaper with the weather for the next few days.

Nitori opened the door, stopped suddenly as a flash of red hair almost collided into him.

“Oh, sorry.”

Nitori recognized the red eyes, the same shade as Rin’s, and raised his eyebrows.

“You’re Matsuoka-senpai’s sister,” he said, surprised.

“Is something wrong?” Rin asked, walking up behind him, “Gou?”

Said girl smiled at him, and Nitori briefly wondered if Rin had known she was here.

Rin looked down at Nitori, stepping aside and nodding at him. “Go on ahead of me. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Nitori nodded, smiling at Gou briefly. “It was nice to see you, Matsuoka-san.”

With a curt nod to Rin, Nitori started walking down the street, away from the pair of siblings.

Nitori smiled to himself. Rin may be a tough guy, but sometimes, he had moments, not unlike this one, where anyone could tell that he truly cared.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So this is just a _total coincidence_?” Rin scoffed, one eyebrow raised at his sister. They had found a bench and sat down, Gou intent on explaining herself.

Gou nodded. “I didn’t know Samezuka was going to be here. If you ever answered your phone and _talked_ to me, maybe…”

“So Haru and everyone else is here, too?” Rin sighed.

“Yes. We’re here for a training camp,” Gou stated, looking at him blankly.

Rin’s head perked up. “A training camp? But we’re using the pool. Where are they swimming?”

Gou lowered her head, looking down at her wrist. “In the ocean.”

His eyes widened, and Rin asked, “Makoto’s okay with that?”

At his sister’s look of surprise, Rin shook his head, waving it off. “Forget it. Are they doing well with their regimen?”

Gou smiled nervously, rubbing at the zeroes on her wrist. The magenta light it gave off was unwaveringly bright, almost blinding if one looked directly looked at them.

“They only finished half of it today.”

Rin shook his head. Of _course_ they couldn’t keep up with it. They were so out of shape, it probably didn’t matter that speedo glasses couldn’t swim.

Gou laughed to herself, causing Rin to look at her curiously.

“It sounds like you’re worried about them, Rin.”

“I’m not,” Rin said bluntly.

Gou sat up and commented, “But you promised to meet them at prefecturals, right?”

“I’m not doing it to see them,” Rin sighed, “I’m going to beat Haru. I’ll show him that simple talent can’t beat hard work. I don’t care about anything else.”

Gou frowned. “This isn’t just about swimming, is it?” she muttered.

Rin’s head snapped up. “What? Yes it is,” he seethed.

Gou snorted and raised an eyebrow. “Sure, Rin. Nothing to do with _anything_ else. Not at all. Nope,” she teased, a smirk crawling onto her lips.

Rin narrowed his eyes at her, then smirked. “Oh, and there’s nothing going on with yours? I seem to recall a tall, overzealous redhead mentioning you. Do you know anything about that?”

Gou’s jaw dropped and she stammered, “What did he tell you? We’re not- I’m with Chigusa, Rin, you know that-“

Rin hummed jokingly at her, standing up.

“C’mon, Gou. Where are you staying? I’ll walk you there,” Rin smirked.

Gou gasped, then grinned and stood to lead him to the lodge, excitedly babbling about the room she was in.

As Rin walked away from her, Gou felt her heart swell. Maybe he was still acting strangely, but the old Rin was still there, under layers of fiery anger and smothering depression.

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_I only swim free._

Free…

_I swim free._

You always were.

_I’m free._

I’m not.

_Bored blue eyes._

Why can’t I be?

_Happy red eyes._

What did _I_ do wrong?

_I could hear the footsteps. Running. Come back. I can’t see you anymore._

Don’t let me go. I can get better. Don’t leave me behind.

**_Angry_ ** _red eyes. **Miserable** red eyes. **Bright** , glowing red._

Free. Free. Free.

_Happy, normal, **red**._

I tried, I tried so hard to make it work.

_Suffocating blue, drowning in the water._

Why does it hurt? Why can’t it just work like normal?

_Burning blue flames._

I can do this. I promise, just stop hurting.

_Black numbers ticking away._

I’m trying so hard.

_Zero, zero, zero._

Rin sat up, gasping for breath. A cold sweat covered his body. His wrist burned like fire.

He could see them, plain as day. Red, brighter than his, _better_ than his.

Their match glowed dark gray, slowly counting down to a time long after the red was gone.

And the blues and blacks, synching together at zero and clouding his view.

“Matsuoka-senpai, are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?” Nitori asked, stopping in front of Rin’s bunk.

Rin exhaled slowly, brushing his hair back. He looked at Nitori with wide, panicky eyes.

“I’m fine. It’s nothing,” Rin said quickly.

Nitori frowned, walking to grab a towel for him. He handed him a spare bottle of water.

“Nitori, I said I’m fine.”

Nitori rolled his eyes, smiling gently. “Okay, but you’re soaking your mattress and if you get dehydrated you can’t do extra practice tonight. I’ll tell Mikoshiba to get the pool locked up,” Nitori mumbled, trying (and failing) to project confidence into his voice.

Rin sighed, the last edges of his dream dispersing as he took the towel and water. Wiping his face off, Rin closed his eyes.

The zeroes were burned into his vision. Hot, red circles traced into weathered skin.

Rin looked at his wrist. They were dim today, like he was out of energy.

“Senpai, why don’t you take tonight off-“

“No. I need to practice,” Rin spat, opening the water bottle.

Nitori stared at him concernedly, wishing that Rin wasn’t so obsessed with bettering his times.

“Alright,” Nitori muttered, walking over to his desk.

Chugging half of the bottle in one gulp, Rin felt like smacking himself.

He had to focus on swimming. Why was having these dreams? Why couldn’t he stay calm?

He needed to beat Haru. He couldn’t face anyone, let alone Sousuke, with confidence until then.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nitori bit his lip, not surprised that Rin was being very distant about the whole issue.

He had tried to confront Rin about it during practice, and even had asked Mikoshiba to talk to him about it, but to no avail. Rin was swimming one race, and Nitori felt like it wasn’t even one that could show off Rin’s progress.

“Nitori, I won’t be on the bus for prefecturals, just so you know,” Rin said in between sit-ups, leaning back on his bed.

Nitori’s eyebrow rose, and he took a moment to think about this.

Although thinking always seemed to be difficult when he helped Rin do his exercises. Nitori easily got distracted by Rin’s constant, paced movements.

Especially when they were situated like this. On a bed. Two hormonal teenage boys. Two hormonal teenage _soulmates_ , for crying out loud.

Nitori blinked twice, pushing his thoughts back into a deep, dark place in his head.

“What do you mean? How are going to get there?”

“I just have to stop somewhere. Don’t worry about me.”

“Where?”

Rin huffed, doing another sit-up. “I said don’t worry about me, Nitori.”

After a few more, Rin sighed. “Why do you even care?”

“Are you going to see Nanase-san?” Nitori asked quietly.

In the moment it took Rin to reply, Nitori’s heart felt like exploding. Of course Rin wouldn’t tell him if he was, he just had to ask, just in case.

“I’m not. Now stop worrying about me and focus on your own event.”

“I can’t.”

Rin sat up, confused. “What?”

“I’m upset.”

“And?” Rin scoffed.

Nitori looked down at his hands, still wrapped around Rin’s feet. His zeroes were faint today, like ink smudges.

“Senpai, I just feel so useless. You are doing one event, when you could be doing so much more and doing so much better. But I can’t even get into the one event I wanted to. I’m a disappointment of a swimmer.”

Rin was silent, staring at Nitori, unable to think of what to say.

It wasn’t fair, really. He’d seen Nitori work so hard, and it made sense to be frustrated.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to say-“

“No. It’s fine,” Rin sighed, turning away from him.

Nitori stared at his hands, brushing his fingers over the numbers that seemed to haunt his every waking moment.

“You have endurance.”

Nitori’s head snapped up, and he knit his brow.

“The 400m free is better for you.”

Nitori gasped lightly, amazed.

“Th-thank you, senpai!”

Rin pushed his hair back, staring at the floor.

“I’m going to see my dad.”

Nitori frowned. “But, I thought… I thought your dad passed away a while ago?”

Realization dawned upon him and he gasped loudly, jumping up. He grabbed Rin by the shoulders and shook his head, feeling tears gather in his eyes.

“No, senpai, you can’t die, you can’t. There’s so much to live for, and- and please don’t do it, I-” Nitori stammered, his voice cracking with desperation.

“I’m not gonna die, Nitori! Jeez,” Rin said, sitting forward, “I’m just visiting his grave!”

Nitori felt his face heat up. “Oh. Um, sorry, Matsuoka-senpai,” he mumbled.

Rin rolled his eyes and let out a low, gentle laugh. “I’m not going anywhere. You still have to deal with me.”

Nitori looked at him cautiously. He wanted to grab onto Rin and tell him that it wasn’t anything close to annoying or bothersome to be around him. He wanted to tell him that every second they spent together made his head hurt in such a new, different way,

But he just smiled and apologized again.

“Let’s go get something to drink,” Rin sighed, grabbing his wallet.

Nitori nodded, following him out the door. He pulled at the skin of his wrist, annoyed that it was starting to burn. The zeroes got darker, and his entire arm felt heavy.

Rin brushed his fingers over his zeroes, annoyed that they seemed to be acting up again. The familiar itch was back, as well as a strange heaviness in his fingers, like all of the blood in his body was rushing into them.

Nitori waited while Rin got his drink, counting out the change in his pocket. He had enough for a drink, although it could cost him his post-practice drink tomorrow…

“Here.”

Rin tossed him a can of Pocket Sweat, popping his own open with one finger.

“O-oh, thank you, senpai!” Nitori smiled.

Rin shrugged, taking a long gulp of his drink.

“I never told you about my dad, huh?”

Nitori shook his head, popping his own can open.

“He was an amazing swimmer. Apparently, the best in Iwatobi,” Rin started, sitting down on the bench.

Nitori sat beside him, leaning towards him slightly.

“So he won a lot of trophies and medals, and was on his the way to the Olympics. It was his dream. He could’ve made it,” Rin explained, looking down at his wrist.

With a heavy sigh, Rin set his can down, looking at his timer.

“But his timer stopped. He found my mom. And they had me,” Rin croaked, his voice cracking.

Nitori felt his heart pang at Rin’s state. His eyes were fogged over with emotions, and it looked like tears were gathering at the corners.

“He became a fisherman, since he wanted to be able to be around us more than if he was a swimmer. But then a typhoon hit. His boat sunk, and he went down with it,” Rin whispered, unable to bring his voice any higher.

“He lost him dream, his life, his _everything_ because of it. Because of me.”

Nitori wondered if saying anything could help Rin. Could he make Rin feel better about this? Could _anyone_?

“So I have to achieve the dream he couldn’t. And there’s someone I have to beat before I can do that. I have to show them that timers don’t mean everything. That hard work is important, too,” Rin breathed out.

“Is it Nanase-san?”

 Rin frowned, clenching his teeth. “He has such talent. And he doesn’t even care about winning. Free, he says. He doesn’t care about times or records. And yet, I couldn’t even… I couldn’t win.”

Rin stood, grabbing his can and crushing it in his hand in one fluid motion. “So I’m going to beat him. Or else I can’t move on.”

Nitori nodded, not wanting to say anything to ruin this.

Rin tossed his can away and looked at his timer.

“All these do is distract people from living their lives. Even if you work at it, and deal with them as best as you can, they get you nowhere,” Rin glared at the zeroes.

“They just burn, and hurt, and tear at your skin from the inside for no reason. Aren’t they supposed to tell you something important when they hurt?” Rin hissed.

Nitori bit his lip, looking at his.

“M-mine has been hurting, too. Recently, especially,” he murmured.

Rin looked back at him.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, his eyes dark with an unknown emotion.

Nitori nodded, surprised by his sudden question.

“Yes, senpai, I’m fine. Why?”

Rin looked forward again, glaring at the wall.

“Someone recently told me that when your timer burns, your match is in trouble. And that if it starts to work again, they might be… gone,” Rin mumbled, confused by the numbers swimming in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> So that wasn't awful, right?  
> And that little poem at the end is so cheesy but I love it.  
> Also, there's an 8tracks playlist for this chapter [ here](http://8tracks.com/wizardofbio/hard-work/)


End file.
